On the way home from work, I planned on writing in my actual journal. There were a lot of thoughts and worries running in my head and I needed to sort them out by writing them down. Those are personal thoughts and not really fun which is why I am not posting them here. haha. No worries. These are good stresses… or at least I think it is.
After doing all the routine once I arrived home, I sought out for my journal. Huh… Where did I last hide you? I don’t write as often as I did anymore. Maybe it’s because nothing much had been happening lately. No thoughts to be sorted out. No real big news to share. Until now anyway. I couldn’t find it, so I’ve decided to just go to my next plan for tonight: choose an office-use-only notebook. I store all of my stash of notebooks in just one place. I know where to look for them. Easy enough.
I actually love notebooks! Even the ones with plain and boring covers. The texture/feel of the paper makes up for the covers. With that, I have several under-used and unused notebooks. Much to my surprise, I had one not so plain-looking underused notebook with scrap papers inserted between the pages. The papers’ layouts were in landscape. I was about to ignore them when I had read this exact line:
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when it happened….” (just in case my you can’t read my handwriting.)
Wait… what? I read the whole 1.5 sheets of paper. Apparently, it was a one shot story. A one shot sort of unrequited love story! I did a double take. What is this? Did I write this story??? I think I did…? I can’t remember. And, I’m sure that was my handwriting. They are tiny and scribbly. My regular handwriting is indeed small, but scribbly when I’m in a hurry. There were several strikethroughs and edited lines, too. Oh… does that mean I wrote this in one sitting? Wow. Well, it is a short story after all …I can’t believe that I wrote that short story. …if I was the one who did write the story… What generated me to write that? o_o
I looked through my other notebooks and saw one with a prologue of a completely different story and genre, and another with a slice of life genre. I remember writing the slice of life short story. I think I do remember writing the prologue of that other story…. So where did the romance genre story came from?
I’m making a big deal out of this huh. Haha. There is nothing wrong with me liking or writing romance… it’s just that if I did write it, I can’t remember when or why I wrote it. I think I planned on putting it up in fanfiction.net base on the names I used. o_o; This is intriguing. Very intriguing.
Anyway… I also found 2 letters from A and a theme writing in Filipino classes from high school (fourth year?) c/o M. If I was not mistaken, the theme was to write a letter to a friend and confess (random) stuffs to him/her may it be personal or not. The four of us draw lots on whom to write to. I can’t remember whom I wrote to, but obviously it’s either M, A or J. =)) haha. Yeah… anyway, the letters were sweet.<3
I browsed through other old notebooks, and have realized that the worries I have been feeling has decreased immensely. I have realized that I used to use my imagination a lot. My creativity back then was limitless. I used to write stories. I also realized that as long as my friends are around, I will be okay. Somehow. They may not be able to solve anything, but as long as they are there, even if it isn’t physically, I can face anything. Even if it’s hard. No man’s an island that I gathered.
Oh. Now I remembered where I have placed my journal… In my other cabinet! … So… … what am I going to do with you? I don’t feel like writing my ‘concerns’ now anymore. Haha. And, it’s late already.
